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How The Internet Really Began

written by John Chow on February 4, 2009

How one lazy bum made $176,697.50

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, Dear?”

And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham’s drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or as it came to be known “ebay” he said, “We need a name that reflects what we are,” and Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO”, said Abraham.

And that is how it all began.

It wasn’t Al Gore after all.

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Yeah I enjoyed it...we all need to laugh. Laughter after all is the best medicine right?

Peter Lee

This has to be rated as the best "start if the internet" story of all time..

LOL. Very clever. Thanks for the chuckles.

So it wasn't Al Gore's invention? I wonder if you might share with us the real story on global warming too?

HAH! This cracked me up, John. It makes you wonder if they really thought about the Internet before ;)

-Mike

people do not speak enough of yahoo

It a nice one. Thanks for sharing. It was fun reading it.

Thank you very much for the great information.

Thanks
flip music charts

It's quite a story there John, did you come up with it?

I hope all jewish people wont get offended when they read this

Hahahaha that was hilarious :D

LMFAO classic!

Was there any invasion or how about the roman dot come empire??

Lol this is... hilarious..

I am super confused. But it was funny

haha that's awesome!

Way more believable that Al Gore's version..;)

What's Al Gore's version anyway?

I can't even remember!

Sorry John but I think you got it all wrong as the internet is a pretty quiet medium, until recently, and to my recollection the whole thing started with smoke signals. Nice try though ;)

That's funny. I've heard it was aliens who started the Internet.

Me thinks John hath had too much fire water to speak of such tales with a tongue bathed in silvery ink.

funny - if you came up with it - you seriously have too much free time :)

LMAO! Yeah, it must have taken him being really bored and having too much spare time in his hands.

This was quite entertaining....

And how did JohnCow.com really begin? lol i'm first!

It began when a mogul named John Chow added "Dot Com" to his life..wtf am I saying??!?.. Better read the about me page!! lol

That's definitely how JohnCHow.com formed. However, how did johnCOW.com form? :X lol

I think John like drinking Cow's Milk ..So he kept name as JohnCow.com

Or might be like he would be having his dairy.. :|)

http://www.smartbloggerz.com

Interesting, a bit odd but creative...lol

And hilarious too :-D

OMG that was a quite long and pretty nice post.

Congrats for that JOHN

Whoa... Is this true by any chance? I don't believe this!! LOL

I don't think so... but yeah, it's hilarious!

LOL!!!! DId you come up with this yourself???

Yeah I guess he did... The category is "Ramblings".. I'm still confused lol

I am super confused. But it was funny

ahhh.. I saw that in several places before

funny - yes
original - sorry, no

just google the first sentence for a 3k results..

Oh you burst the bubble here but I think this one is new for many readers like me and others as well.

LOL, this was not that funny though, little boring :( yawn.

It was really hilarious, I were thinking you were to come up with real story. lol.

Very creative if he did.