How The Internet Really Began

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, Dear?”

And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham’s drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or as it came to be known “ebay” he said, “We need a name that reflects what we are,” and Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO”, said Abraham.

And that is how it all began.

It wasn’t Al Gore after all.


50 thoughts on “How The Internet Really Began”

  1. LOL!!!! DId you come up with this yourself???

    1. Yeah I guess he did… The category is “Ramblings”.. I’m still confused lol

        1. I am super confused. But it was funny

        2. ahhh.. I saw that in several places before

          funny – yes
          original – sorry, no

          just google the first sentence for a 3k results..

          1. LOL, this was not that funny though, little boring 🙁 yawn.

    2. It was really hilarious, I were thinking you were to come up with real story. lol.

  2. Whoa… Is this true by any chance? I don’t believe this!! LOL

    1. Reyn Aria says:

      I don’t think so… but yeah, it’s hilarious!

  3. Amar says:

    OMG that was a quite long and pretty nice post.

    Congrats for that JOHN

  4. Pheak Tol says:

    haha good story john

  5. Ruben Ricart says:

    Interesting, a bit odd but creative…lol

  6. Robby G says:

    And how did JohnCow.com really begin? lol i’m first!

    1. It began when a mogul named John Chow added “Dot Com” to his life..wtf am I saying??!?.. Better read the about me page!! lol

      1. Robby G says:

        That’s definitely how JohnCHow.com formed. However, how did johnCOW.com form? :X lol

        1. Typhoon says:

          I think John like drinking Cow’s Milk ..So he kept name as JohnCow.com

          Or might be like he would be having his dairy.. :|)

          http://www.smartbloggerz.com

  7. Robby G says:

    or not…. 🙁

  8. This was quite entertaining….

  9. funny – if you came up with it – you seriously have too much free time 🙂

    1. LMAO! Yeah, it must have taken him being really bored and having too much spare time in his hands.

  10. Brad says:

    LOL, a had a good laugh

  11. Me thinks John hath had too much fire water to speak of such tales with a tongue bathed in silvery ink.

  12. That’s funny. I’ve heard it was aliens who started the Internet.

  13. Sire says:

    Sorry John but I think you got it all wrong as the internet is a pretty quiet medium, until recently, and to my recollection the whole thing started with smoke signals. Nice try though 😉

    1. Camillon says:

      What’s Al Gore’s version anyway?

  14. Mark Wilson says:

    haha that’s awesome!

  15. I am super confused. But it was funny

  16. Ben Pei says:

    Lol this is… hilarious..

  17. Damilik says:

    Was there any invasion or how about the roman dot come empire??

  18. SEO Tips says:

    Hahahaha that was hilarious 😀

  19. Yanuar says:

    I hope all jewish people wont get offended when they read this

  20. It’s quite a story there John, did you come up with it?

  21. shun2u says:

    haha.nice story. 😉

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  23. Agent 001 says:

    It a nice one. Thanks for sharing. It was fun reading it.

  24. joe gelb says:

    people do not speak enough of yahoo

  25. HAH! This cracked me up, John. It makes you wonder if they really thought about the Internet before 😉

    -Mike

  26. So it wasn’t Al Gore’s invention? I wonder if you might share with us the real story on global warming too?

  27. Bryan Knight says:

    LOL. Very clever. Thanks for the chuckles.

  28. Dex Anthony says:

    This has to be rated as the best “start if the internet” story of all time..

  29. Yeah I enjoyed it…we all need to laugh. Laughter after all is the best medicine right?

    Peter Lee

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