How To Get A Girlfriend (Part 2)

This post was guest blogged by Alex Shalman (RSS).

This is part 2 of our ongoing discussion about how to get a girlfriend. I want you guys to all have an awesome and fun life, and I’m worried that John’s awesome advice about making money online is driving you to work too hard and neglect your humanly needs.

Before we even begin today’s discussion make sure you read part 1 of this series on Building Confidence. It is a necessary prelude to today’s topic.

Approaching.

Building confidence is awesome, and then it comes time to walk the walk. Here are some things that have worked for me, personally, as well as things I have observed from friends.

Part 2 – The Approach

  1. Be Interesting. Pick up lines are generally considered a joke. Even if you do find some funny or captivating openers you will eventually need to be a person of substance and interest in order to have a great conversation.
  2. Don’t Be a Tool. We’ll define tool as a ‘jerk’ here. Nice guys get a bum wrap, and supposedly jerks get all the girls, but I’m not talking about a quick lay, nor am I talking about an unhealthy relationship. I’ll discuss jerks vs. nice guys in a future post, and if you ask me about being nice — it works, just don’t be too nice!
  3. Individualize. Do not fall into a pattern – any pattern. The trick is that all people are individuals and have their own unique quirks. When approaching, be ready to uncover that which makes this person special. By seeing past the initial facade you will find the real gem.
  4. Find Them. In order to approach a girl, you have to find one. A good question I always ask my single friends is… Where would the type of girl that you would be interested in hang out? Do not waste your time elsewhere, go there. If your only hobby is to make money online, go to affiliate events and find yourself a make money hottie.
  5. Eye Contact. I can’t stress enough how important eye contact is. Not only does direct eye contact exude confidence, but it leaves an opening for relatedness, rapport, closeness, and intimacy as a possibility. If you look around, at your feet, or anywhere but the person you are speaking to, you are relating sign of weakness — just like a scared animal!
  6. Numbers Game. The trick is to not only be ready for rejection, but welcome it. Not every fine woman is going to find you attractive, be single and available, and interested in you all at the same time. If they don’t dig you it’s their loss. Find the next woman that you would like to give the opportunity to get to know you – approach more.
  7. Change of Scenery. When approaching it’s fun to take them on an adventure with you. Suggest leaving the location at which you met and head over somewhere else. This will be your adventure together.
    I remember a very specific situation where my wing woman and I got 3 girls to leave the club at which we met and head over to a totally different club. We bonded in the cab and this made all of us one team.
  8. Wing Woman. Want to not seem creepy to girls when you approach? A great tactic, so great it might be considered cheating, is to be seen with a female friend by your ‘target’. When I was single I didn’t always go out to a club or lounge just to meet girls. Sometimes I went to hang out with my very good female friends and have a good time. These are the times when girls were checking me out, and even approached me. However, I personally would not date someone I met at the club. I date girls I meet at the library!
  9. Be Genuine. Whatever it is that you decide to say, I highly recommend that you stay genuine to who you are. Again, this article isn’t the purpose of a lay (although whatever you do with this information is up to you), rather it is to support you in finding a delicious relationship. A great relationship will not be built on a foundation of lies.
  10. Be fun. Seriously, if you aren’t planning on being fun, at any point during your approach, than maybe you need to reconsider why you want a relationship. Relationships can be very fun, and just as you would want to be dating someone really fun, they’re probably looking for the same thing.
  11. Do It Differently. Just like you wouldn’t make any money online if you were doing the same exact thing as everyone else, you aren’t going to get the highest quality girlfriend by trying what the last guys tried. Do something unique and spontaneous.
  12. Move In Immediately. There is a small gap between when you first see a woman, and she notices you back, which you could use to approach. Seriously, if you wait more than 5-10 seconds that window closes and now you are a creepy guy that was staring and now decided to come over.
  13. You’re In Charge. Do not let the fact that you are approaching deter you from the fact that you are in control and basically interviewing people to be a potential partner. Do not sell out for someone that you think is not going to be an awesome partner for you.

While I don’t use pickup lines in real life, I think they are great to laugh at. If you know any funny ones, share them in the comments below. Also, make sure you subscribe so you do not miss any posts from this ongoing series.


86 thoughts on “How To Get A Girlfriend (Part 2)”

  1. If you only remember one thing from this list, remember #10. If you’re having fun, that’s really all that matters. I act like a total retard sometimes just to amuse myself πŸ˜†

    1. Shaun Carter says:

      I agree with you about #10. If something isn’t fun, it isn’t worth doing in the first place.

      1. Geiger says:

        That’s why I don’t do my taxes. πŸ˜‰

  2. Alex Shalman says:

    Thanks for getting this up JC. πŸ˜‰

  3. Tom says:

    I would like to pick up on Stak’s avatar…

    1. Alex Shalman says:

      I bet you would haha 😈

      1. Abdul says:

        It could get more people to click on his link!
        Nice idea!

    2. David Cheong says:

      I am targeting on Meg Meyer avatar, charging battery to eye with eye contact now 😯

    3. Pay me and I’ll introduce you πŸ˜€

  4. Meg Meyer says:

    I would also suggest that you start the conversation with something other than, “So, what do you do?” Ask something more interesting, and less likely to blend in with the other guys that hit on her already tonight.

    Suggestions:

    “What’s the special story behind your tattoo?”
    “If you could go back and teach your younger self something that you know now – what would it be?”
    “What is the one food that you could eat every day for the rest of your life?” – This one opens up the door to suggest a first date that she’ll like!

    Good luck, guys!

    Sincerely,

    Meg Meyer

    1. tyna says:

      Meg are you serious or were you joking,it is not an interview for a job.Those are deep questions you could ask when you have gotten a first date and not before.

      1. Abdul says:

        Yeah these can only be used once you’ve been dating with the girl for about a week or something, in other words when you know her!

        1. Mike Stoute says:

          yeah meg, I think those are questions you think you want asked.

          Reality is, the less attention he pays to you (while being nice and having class) and the more he makes you ask about him is the way to go. It’s like the once you approach and gain some interest, you have to then back off and let her court you to a degree.
          Chivalry is not dead, but most women don’t respond to it well these days. In a sense, women are killing chivalry whether they know it or not.

          1. Alex Shalman says:

            I totally disagree. It’s better to get people talking about themselves by asking open ended questions. They’ll be drawn to you and think you are an amazing conversationalist even if you do not reveal a single thing about yourself and do very little talking.

          2. Mike Stoute says:

            of course you totally disagree with me… πŸ‘Ώ

            If this is about getting a girlfriend, you need the girl to invest in YOU. You do that by getting her to ask more questions about YOU and invest in getting to know YOU.
            When she has time invested in YOU, she is open to moving forward more easily inclined to do things with or for you.
            Such as getting compliance for asking her to do certain things. Say she is investing in you, then you ask her to come with you to the bar for a drink. She comes..which shows compliance to your wishes. One step closer, she is investing more.. and so on..

            It’s easy to get people talking about themselves, and yes it will show that you are a good conversationalist, but all you are doing is invesing in THEM. If all you are doing is investing in them, they have nothing to loose, only you do..

          3. Alex Shalman says:

            I agree with your point about investing, except not with the method you outlined to get investment. There are few people who will bother to open the person up past ‘how are you’, and if you ask questions to the 7th level (which is completely unheard of now days) you will get to know a very intimate part of them. When she reveals herself to you that is an investment. She becomes vulnerable and gives you her trust. That’s worth more than telling her your life story my friend.

            The other stuff about picking the places to go I agree with you on completely, except it’s not relevant to this point.

          4. Mike Stoute says:

            Yes, obviously you have to talk and get it going, open them and so fourth..

            “When she reveals herself to you that is an nvestment.”
            Q: What is she investing here?

            “She becomes vulnerable and gives you her trust.”
            Q: Why would you want her to feel vulnerable?

            “That’s worth more than telling her your life story my friend.”
            Q: I said something about telling her your life story? My friend..

            “The other stuff about picking the places to go I agree with you on completely, except it’s not relevant to this point.”
            Q: Compliance is not relevant when meeting a girl?
            There are a lot of people who would disagree with you on this on. Even your close friend Tynan!

          5. What’s a “question to the 7th level” ??

    2. Thiago Prado says:

      the really good thing of live in Brazil is that over there you don’t have to make a long conversation to kiss someone. not only for girls , guys are the same.
      It’s all about the fun!

      1. Mike Stoute says:

        Yes, I have herd stories about Brazil… The land of love lol

        1. Thiago Prado says:

          If you’re planning to visit Brazil, the best time to go is in the beginning of the year because is summer in Brazil and it’s when the carnaval party happens.

    3. Geiger says:

      The trick is to ask an Interesting question that you really want to know the answer to. Meg, do you floss before or after brushing?

  5. Great list on how to be a P. I. M. P. I think each person need to watch hitch and that also is a roadmap to success. When a person is a geek like most of us they need all the help they can get.

    1. Geiger says:

      Maybe JohnChow2.com should by “How to Pimp Online”. 😈

  6. Deal Filter says:

    Good stuff here! Keep the info coming.

  7. jatt says:

    How to ge a girlfriend series..hrm..it’s my first time knowing this. It’s funny to follow those tips. In a real life, it’s totally a different world. Just be who you are, to get a girlfriend..XOXO..

    1. Alex Shalman says:

      Be who you are is #9. Well, it’s be genuine. In real life, being who you are might not land you a girlfriend. Well, more specifically, you might be an awesome person, but do to circumstances completely shy, in which case you will never approach a girl. This is a problem. Improving social skills is not stopping you from being you, but it’s giving you access to being comfortable around people.

  8. Shanel Yang says:

    Some funny pickup lines:

    1. “Can I get some fries with that shake?”
    2. “If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?”
    3. “Excuse me, miss, I’m afraid I’ll have to make a citizen’s arrest ’cause you just stole my heart.”
    4. “That’s a beautiful dress you’re wearing. I bet it’ll look even better on my bedroom floor.”
    5. “My friends just bet me that you wouldn’t dance with me, so will you help me win the bet?”

    Some that actually work:

    1. “Can I buy you a drink?”
    2. “Hi, my name is X. What’s yours?”
    3. “Would you like to dance?”
    4. “Do you mind if I sit next to you?”
    5. “That’s a beautiful [article of clothing or jewelry]. Where did you get it, if you don’t mind me asking?”

    1. PaulB says:

      You forgot

      “You’re not bad looking for a fat chick”

      1. Josh Buckley says:

        lmao im totally using that paul!

      2. Ed Lau says:

        That’s right up there with “You might look doable after a few more beers.”

        1. Paul B says:

          But nothing will ever beat “You’re ugly but some how erotic”.

      3. Thiago Prado says:

        What about “I’ll do you for free! :mrgreen:

  9. Lewis says:

    Alex,

    Very nice post. I think you hit every major point on how to get a girlfriend. The biggest part is to be interesting, be yourself, and be a little mysterious (not VH1’s Mysterious from the Pick Up Artist show).

    Girls want something or someone exciting to come along, they are so used to tools using lame pick up lines. They want a nice guy who has that unique difference about them. If you are genuine and interesting then any girl in their right mind will at least talk to you. If they don’t, then they aren’t worth it and move on to the next fish.

    Wouldn’t you agree Alex?

  10. SuperTips says:

    if you are rich as John you won’t need any of those tips, girls will fly around you like butterflies

  11. jason says:

    I nees a Grrlfriend!~~~ thx!

  12. […] so let’s see what interesting things were written in the blogosphere. […]

  13. rk says:

    very much good post,man. i like it .it will help me in blogging. thanks.

  14. Binary Ant says:

    I think this second part is far better than the previous one. I like point #12, but it is not for shy guys (not my case). I remember once i threw my jacket near to a girls’ feet. Then I approached to her and that her jacket was on the floor… When she noticed that it wasn’t hers but mine she told me I was a very daring boy … but funny too πŸ˜‰ . It was the beginning of a nice conversation πŸ™‚

    So #12 and #10 are best for me.

  15. Chessmaster says:

    Find the next woman that you would like to give the opportunity to get to know you – approach more. This could not look to good if you are doing it in a dance club.
    But then again, it mostly all comes to money like everything in our world.

  16. Abdul says:

    hey alex is it you in the picture…that face is familiar to yours!

    1. Alex Shalman says:

      Haha, I was wondering if anyone would notice. That is a picture of my girlfriend and I at a lounge in NYC. A friend of ours took it. 😈

      1. Abdul says:

        Nice couple, that is if you’re still with her! πŸ™‚

  17. tyna says:

    You guys might try these funny lines:
    1.I wish i can plant you and grow a whole field of you.
    2.Hi i know your feet must be tired because you have been running through my mind all day.
    3.I lost my phones numbers can i have yours.
    4.If you are a burger you will be my favourite
    5.If i could rearrange the alphabeths i will put U & I together
    6.Do you have a band aid? i just scraped my knee falling for you
    7.I been undressing you all night with my eyes now i think is time to know if i was right.
    8.I may not be the best looking guy here tonight but am the only one talking to you.
    9.Are you a packing ticket? because you got fine written all over you.

  18. ahh !amazed to see this post, let me check the url, is it johnchow ? oh yeah :), nice post, some people are are posting that they still need a girlfriend :D..

  19. I would like to make more money rather than approaching to get girlfriends///….
    When I get more money than it is easy to get a girlfriends..

    1. Gadget says:

      ha ha ha…….. that’s right :mrgreen:

    2. Abdul says:

      What this article is trying to tell us is not to forget while so much strangled in earning money on the net, that we are actually living a LIFE, and we must live it to the fullest, with these things being an important part of it!
      If you know what I mean! 😈

  20. Geiger says:

    Actually a “Wing Woman” is called a “Pivot”. You use her to pivot yourself to your intended woman.

    1. Geiger says:

      I also suggest reading “The Game” by Neil Strauss. It’s very interesting and you can use the tactics in all social situations, not just to scam up a lady friend.

      1. Alex Shalman says:

        Haha, I’ve read the game, I have met Neil Strauss, and I’m good friends with Herbal (Tynan).

    2. Mike Stoute says:

      Geiger, exactly… πŸ’‘

  21. Is there a part three?
    Dumbest pick up line: “Are you Jamaican? ‘Cause you Jamaican me crazzzyy.”

  22. geomark says:

    wtf happened to this blog? i used to stop by and read it once in a while. now it’s dating advice?!

    1. Mike Stoute says:

      yeah, our niche is blowing up and john chow seems to be jumping on it. Is this just so he can write off his dates for tax purposes? Like his food column?

  23. Trent says:

    1. If you really need any of this advice, having a wing woman is more than likely not an option.
    2. #12 if by far the best solution for these folks, as if you don’t get your butt in there first, someone else will. Once she has had more than one or two visits from others, your odds drop dramatically. Unless you have a 12 inch conversation piece.
    3. #6 is your best friend. It is a numbers game. Just like making money online, you have to present your “product” to a lot of people to be successful. If you expect the first person you meet to just fall in love with you and buy your product, you are severely mistaken.
    4. I am not sure if this is coming in the next posting, but lets discuss managing your expectations. Work your way up from a chevette to a rolls-royce if you haven’t had success before. It will give you a chance to hone your game a little, and everyone loves a good fat girl story. Success breeds success, and they can smell it on you. Take the ugly girl home and find out what girls like/dislike. The next time try going for the 2nd ugliest girl to bring home and move up from there.
    5. Above all, get the heck away from your computer for more than 10 minutes a day. The only way you get lucky sitting in front of the computer is by watching…. wait for it… the product that I can help you sell πŸ™‚ Cha ching!! Advice and a plug all at once. Sorry JC, had to be done.
    Good luck everyone.

  24. As John Chow said this is a personal blog more likely , so anything can surprise you once in a while. There is no proof of this being a Money Blog , except for some wonderful posts. Keep it up John.

  25. David Cheong says:

    Ok, careful on the eye contact part, you might get electric shock via eye to eye. πŸ™‚ And don’t forget to charge battery for your eye heheh 😈

  26. Douglas Karr says:

    Aren’t they easier to just buy or rent?

  27. Ben Moreno says:

    Yes, the chick in the picture is very nice. One line I always thought was interesting is approaching a girl you don’t know and saying “hey, you look familiar. Did I meet you somewhere before?” The funny thing is that they always think it is a pick-up line, even if you seriously feel like you met them before.

  28. she’s so HOT!! 😈

  29. Lance says:

    IMO these are all fine tips for meeting girls, although nothing terribly original. I do like the that playing the numbers and using platonic gf’s as pivots is mentioned, these are rarely emphasized in mainstream dating advice articles. Alex, I would like to see you contextualize this more with JC’s original premise, does making money get you girls? My take is absolutely it does, but why? Is it simply the ability to buy material things, or is it something deeper…also, how does having money make you less attractive, which is certainly possible.

    1. Mike Stoute says:

      It totally does make a difference, I agree. If you (alex) are going to take the PUA route, this series is probably going to get stale, a lot of what your saying is good, but basic things I can read in almost any mainstream dating book or blog. In fact I can probably find a lot of this stuff in “Think and Grow Rich” if I really tried..

      Stick to the subject with money. That is a subject that has a lot of angles and is more realistic for the crowd on this blog. PUA’s and people who have game don’t need money to pick up girls, so its kind of a different subject completely.

  30. Laurie says:

    Hey, great post, John.
    Even as a gay woman, I enjoyed reading your guide to getting a girlfriend. Most women want to be treated with respect, kindness, genuine interest, and make a unique connection with another human being.
    Confidence is sexy when someone is interested in me. Unselfconscious and undisguised interest is a turn-on. Having extra people around reduces stress and pressure and means the interested parties aren’t forced into total dependence on each other for communication so early on. The tip about changing locations is brilliant.
    I find as I get older, the more honest I am, right from the outset, and the more direct I get about what or who it is I’m looking for and why, the less time I spend in uncomfortable or time-wasting situations. And I always get to meet REAL people at home in themselves, which is super-cool, even if you don’t ‘click’.
    Laurie
    qreview.ca

  31. Adi says:

    Find the next woman that you would like to give the opportunity to get to know you – approach more. This could not look to good if you are doing it in a dance club.
    But then again, it mostly all comes to money like everything in our world.

  32. Great post I guess. Has nothing to do with making money though

  33. jonson roth says:

    #14 Don’t read “make money online” sites hoping for dating advice. Get out there and actually meet people.

    1. ms danielle says:

      but if all of a person’s time is spent reading make-money blogs, then they need some intervention.

      he needs to write about the ladder theory. ladder jumpers beware…

  34. A 5 to 10 second window of opportunity isn’t very long, so you better move!

  35. Joe says:

    read a good book on attracting women, then go out and just start talking to women everywhere you go. and test out different things until you find what works for you. Failure is good. ya usually learn something that will help in future female interactions.

  36. Not JohnChow says:

    Is the point of this post to sell the girlfriend for profit? How again is this about MMO?

  37. One thing I have noticed is that some men just keep labouring a point. they go on and on about something. You need to notice when a woman has switched off and change the subject!

  38. Simon says:

    I already have a girfriend, but i dont think she likes me, i’ll use this guide to get another one.

  39. Stella says:

    Great points…
    I agree with Turn One Pound Into One Million that “You need to notice when a woman has switched off and change the subject!” (lol).

    But I think it’s important to underline body language which talks more than words. When your mouth says one thing and your body another… humm it can spice things up or down!

    In summary, concentrate on “point 5. Eye Language”: I confirm, 100%, that the attraction and the connection is in the eyes. Think a moment when you had a date… What are you doing the most guys? Looking, huh? Eyes and body, Eyes again to confirm her beauty to yourself. As a woman, you can catch a man’s eye and feel if he’s confindent or not. Leave you with this great video about this subject: http://www.fragrancediva.net/2006/09/body-language-incredible-opportunity.html

    Cheers from my place…

  40. Pasquale says:

    πŸ™„ Or you could not use a formula, draw sweet bears, and score the most amazing person on the planet who thinks they are neat.

  41. I see big discussion going on this question πŸ™‚

  42. Mostly Lisa says:

    there are loads of Canadian girls in need of G3 iPhones. *ahem* and we all know those Canadian girls are extra saucy πŸ˜‰

    IMHO this is the BEST pick-up line. Ever. This is the SECOND BEST.

  43. As a woman, I agree with everything listed here. I can’t stand it when a guy tries too hard or uses corny pick up lines like “I’m not Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.” Horrible.

    1. tyna says:

      Do guys say that? What if a guy tells you that he wants to change your life for the better if you date him.Some guys are born dumb when it comes to dating issues.

  44. Seth says:

    I guess I don’t understand the point of this post. Why are all of you are commenting on how to get a girlfriend? This entire series is counter-productive. Reading this post and actually taking the advice given only further handicaps you because you may feel even more unprepared for dating than you were before. Look at how long the list is! Getting financing for my first business had less steps than this post! Simply put Alex Shalman is an idiot, and so is anyone who believes what he says. Mating is the easiest, most common thing on this planet, everyone does it. Why make it hard?

  45. Forumistan says:

    Great ways to do it. Wish it helps to me.

Comments are closed.