This post was guest blogged by Alex Shalman (RSS).
If you’re just tuning in, this is a series of articles on How To Get A Girlfriend. The logic behind posting this here is that John Chow gives you the best advice on making money online, which could leave you rich but tied down to your computer.
My job is to liberate you and find you a girlfriend that can spend the money for you. If you missed it, read the articles on Building Confidence and Approaching.
Assumptions. These aren’t articles on pick up artistry, in fact, they aren’t about manipulation at all. This is personal development at it’s finest. For this article I will assume that you already walked up to the girl, did some talking, and are now in the courting process after the first encounter.
Communicate Powerfully
Note: While reading this article, think about how you can apply this to potential business partners to help you make money online.
A. Compliment Them. Don’t go overboard here. There are several ways that you can use compliments, some of which can be used both in a genuine and manipulative way.
- Switch focus of the conversation. If you find yourself in a position where you don’t want to continue a certain topic, compliment something about them in order to switch focus.
- Attract Attention. The moment you compliment someone’s listening skills they become all ears. Tell her she’s a great listener if you need her to listen.
- Build Rapport. Rapport is basically the strength of the connection between two people. Telling her that you think it’s cool how much you two have in common, or how related you are (not like brother and sister, don’t be gross) will inevitably create relatedness.
B. Have Conviction. Speak with conviction and have a strong belief in yourself that you know what you are talking about. Part of being a charismatic leader is being able to draw people’s confidence in you. For this you need to believe in yourself. If you end up being wrong, clean it up later, but for now your way is law.
- Make sure you speak loudly. No one should ever have to ask you to repeat yourself or speak up.
C. Do Not Apologize. To make this work you need to avoid doing major things that really do deserve an apology. However, do not fall into the typical female trap/test where she complains and you grovel like a puppy. Apologizing does not make you look manly, neither does acting like a canine and jumping through hoops.
- Just tell her that you don’t think what you did warrants an apology and that you’re quite surprised that she overreacts so much. Say, “I thought you were more laid back than this… I don’t know if I like this new side of you.”
D. Ask The Questions. By asking questions you are effectively steering the conversation into the direction of your choice. You can answer most questions with a question. An old Jewish joke is: “Why do Jews ask so many questions?”, “Why not?”
- You want to have an air of mystery around you, because it leaves people (yes, this means potential girlfriends) yearning for more. Remember when you were little and your parents were taking you to the store to get ice cream later? The ice cream is the only thing you could think about as you anticipated the explosion of flavor that your tongue would experience. Once you ate the ice cream it was game over – it’s game over once she knows what she wants about you.
E. Body Language. Your body actually does most of the talking for you. You can get the girl without even speaking the same language as her, and that’s because body language is universal. There are hundreds of body language techniques, but there are a couple of basics that will get you into the game.
- Kino. This is when you gently pat certain areas of the women’s body, such as her arm, while making conversation. It makes them either comfortable with you, or excited, depending on how you do it.
- Big smile. A big smile makes people feel happy and at ease because they can sense that nothing is wrong. It also makes you look more attractive and creates a fun-to-be-around persona.
- Head butt. This works every single time. Come up to the girl you are talking to and give her a nice solid head butt. (Disclaimer: In case someone gets hurt, or in legal trouble, John Chow and I (Alex Shalman) are not taking responsibility)
- Take Up Space. If you’re standing keep your feet a solid shoulder width apart. If you’re sitting spread your legs and arms out. Basically take up as much space as you can. This puts out the message that this is your world, you’re confident, and you’re going to take up as much space as you damn well please!
F. Future Outlook. The number one tool to get a girl hooked is to create a future that both of you could live into. You see, when a person has a vision of a great future, the way this person acts right now is very different than if they were awaiting a dark, grim future. There are several ways to create this future.
- Create a bucket list. A bucket list is a goal list, which you can sit down and create together. You put vacation plans, date plans, movies you want to see, places you want to visit, foods you want to try, etc. onto your bucket list. You both look forward to doing this together.
- Relationship non-negotiables. As early as the first date, if you like the girl, you want to know how compatible you are. You want to make sure your non-negotiables do not clash. Some popular ones are kids (yes/no, how many?), where to live, who will work, religious beliefs, and expected lifestyle.
- Ficticous stories. A friend of mine used to tell these elaborate stories to girls he just met. He painted a picture of this island, with pink monkies, and a bunch of abnormal things. He said it would be their island. The first time I heard this I thought my friend had mental problems, but I quickly realized that this is hilarious and most importantly it worked for him. Both on random girls he met, and on the beautiful girlfriend he had acquired.
This series is going strong, so take the time to press the subscribe button on this blog so you don’t miss a thing. In one of the following articles we will be discussing ‘Does Having More Money Help You Get A Girlfriend?’
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