How To Get What You Want By Asking The Right Way

I'd just like to add one more thing. Even though the first way of asking didn't produce a results, at least the person ASKED.

Most people in life don't even ASK in the first place. Even if you're not good at asking for things, if you ask enough times you'll eventually get a yes anyways. Most people, however, are too shy to even ask at all.

You are right on the head with this one......when i use to be in the music business and wanted to get into the big shows i would always come as press or i would offer my service to help out in the conference to not only meet new contacts...but get to enjoy the conference from the inside out. And i would always end up with alot of free stuff that vendors would ship in for the show but did not want to take back home....a win - win all the time

www.BennieRandall.com

I think if the first blogger had just said,
"I am a web entrepreneur and blogger, and would be covering the event from my popular blog which has an RSS readership of over 1,400."
he would have gotten the pass. This could also be an indication that less is more in certain cases.

How you express yourself online, whether it be in blogs emails, comments, etc says a lot about your charactar and self confidence. Same applies in real life.

Read the "Aladin Factor". Most don't get what they want because they don't ask. Simply asking will often get you much of what you want. Then learn the skill John talks about to gain a competitive advantage.

This isn't always correct. Some companies love straightforward requests, while others hate it.

-Mike

I REQUIRE. That you give us bloggers the domain names of your friends.
I also REQUIRE a giant banner on top of your blog linking to http://www.thegermz.com for FREE.
Nah I'm just kidding lol the domains please :oops:

Great post, and good examples. Assuming someone will say yes is a good first step as it makes you write with a certain authority not found in a 'begging email'.

Just goes to show, it's not the size of your blog, it's the size of your balls. :wink:

Haha, ya I know, but it makes the point that there is a way to ask that is TOO forward.

(but hey, I still wouldn't mind a free review or some free advertising)

"I need to make ridiculously large amounts of money so I am going to need a free review or some free advertising on this site."

I think that's could be used as an example of being too forward and direct. If your overconfident, your liable to turn people off as well.

I agree 100%

Just last week I used the same posturing and positioning strategy in negotiating for the purchase of my next new home. By delivering a clear and confident message, without coming across as an arrogant a-hole, I was able to drive the seller down to a price that left them less than satisfied with what they had to give up.

Great post John, thanks!
- Jcyreus (http://jcyreus.com)

Hello John
I need to make ridiculously large amounts of money so I am going to need a free review or some free advertising on this site. I have been told that this blog is the best an therefore come straight to you.

Thanks
Mark

That's ture that sometimes we are too humber and sell us short :oops:

HappyTutors.com is a great web2.0 service. :twisted:
Welcome everybody :grin:

www. HappyTutors.com
~ Connect Tutors with Students & Parents~

It's true that confidence is key.
Maybe it was just a small mistake John, or no one else noticed, but the Big Blogger never said his blog was "personal"...

Also the number two guy did the right thing by correctly dropping the Google and valueclick reference. Notice he said that he was contacted by them (ie I havea very strong relationship with two exhibitors). Number one didn't stand a chance. Maybe if his lead was I have 10,000 readers who I'll be reporting to.

But how will you know that being confidence all the time will get you what you want. You can't be %100 sure that it will work. Its like being over confident.

Good post. You have to be assertive and confident if you're going to succeed. No one wants to be associated with wishy-washy businessperson or blogger.

I had a friend just get "industry passes" into the San Diego Comic Con after "executive producing" a small independent film - all it took was a few credits on the IMDB! It's amazing what you can get if you just ask.

that makes a lot of sense. Will use these tips next time I ask for something :smile:

I didn't think about it this way, yea perhpas its important hwo you ask ppl for some things, great post.

I went through a course on effective business writing, and the moral of the whole thing was not to BS, but instead get to the point. Good post!

This is another cool bonus for someone running their own niche blog, not having to pay for courses and seminars within their niche if they properly ask. This is almost worth having a niche website devoted to your passions just so you can review products and services for free without having to pay for them! I've never gotten into a seminar for free, but then again - I never asked :oops: I definitely agree that asserting yourself with confidence will win over asking for something in a weak and feeble way.

Posture is the name of the game. I learned about posture in MLM (I hate to admit that) and if yuo wanted to have people join your oeganization you had to act as if you didn't need them. Same thing when asking for a pass to something like Ad Tech, ask assuming you will get one.

interesting topic.

Great advice!

I require $1000, John, and I'd appreciate you getting it to me ASAP :twisted:

It's strange that the big blogger lacked the confidence to ask while the small blogger was oozing with confidence. Perhaps the small blogger will eventually become a big blogger and the big blogger will remain stagnant.

Nice reminder post coach!

There seems to be a timid mindset out there. In life you need balls to get what you want. Can't be afraid to go get it. You will never get the pretty girl if you don't ask. Cher was once asked why she went out with only younger guys. She replied. "They are the only one who ask me out." With that in mind. Hey JC, post my video. Thanks..Mike

Good post on how words can matter. Nicely done.

Hey guys,
Its all about working the words. Everything in life revolves around language, and how you utilize language. Therefore, linguistic skills should be applied to text. Think about these two scenarios:
1. "Hey, i was maybe thinking...that...you could give me your homework...its ok if you dont want to but you can..."

2. "Hey John, can i see your homework real quick? I need some clarifications on some problems that i had trouble with last night. Thanks."

I would personally think for a moment about the first person, and make a decision. However, as for the second person, i would not even think; just do. This is the situation in the post, the big blogger is #1 and the smaller is #2. The smaller bloggers almost always seem to have the guts to ask for whatever they want. If you want something, then ask with out hesitation.

regards,
technorino (technorino.com)

Nice post. Its always better to be forward and direct than timid and meak. People don't like it when you show weakness in bussiness deals.

The advice is not only about how to be successful in business but also how to be successful with women.

This kind of advice shows us why you have the right to call yourself a dot com Mogul.

The best movie scene ever was in "Boiler Room"

"Act As If"

The three greatest words anyone has ever told me. You have to act as if you have been doing it for a long time and act as if you know what you are talking about. That is posture and communication. Go into every meeting prepared. Prepare for every email. Don't do anything on a whim!

Yup. hate to say it, but if you sound like a noob, you get treated like a noob. If you write like the press pass is just a formality, then BINGO in you go!
http://yeu2.com
http://do1t.net

Wait is this a "how to make money online" blog or "how to be a successful with women" blog. Cause the same strategy applies.

But it's true, most people are so scared of getting banned they wont stand up straight and confront them. And when adsense was giving me those bad context ads for MONTHS that's how I approached them. The minute I made blog post last week embarrassing them and sent them a link to it in an email saying poor content matching was bad for me, for them, the advertisers, and generally took a more firm and professional approach my ads miraculously changed 12 hours later.

Asking is never easy, you should consider and think a lot before having the right words.

Is is not what you ask.. how you ask is more important

Good post because it's the truth. The same goes for requesting interviews with someone. Of course it depends on their schedule, but if you were to say something along the lines of what the big blogger said, you'd have at least a 5-10% chance of getting it.

Not good.

lol. very correctly said.
The small blogger was decent with his language.... its old saying - speech influences :wink:

Hm, I usually don't go with the need mentality. Going to give it a shot with some of the new PR people I deal with.

... that's very true.. PR is PR after all ^^

CY

good post john :wink:

Maybe that guy was so shy or to polite? We could learn how to handle PR correctly, we must confidence with what our doing by having a enough knowledge. :lol:

Yeah, the self-confidence will open many doors for the man/woman who have it and express it! :)

Now this is a good post, and it has applications far beyond blogging and business. Learning how to act confident, even when you're really not, is a good skill to have.

- Dave

Asking for something is definately not an easy thing. Mainly because when you ask, you want someone to give or do something for you. And it's hman nature to care less for others. Pretty evel? :twisted:

I think it's all a matter of how well you ask. That or on how good you twist words.

Posture and Control is correct. When asking for anything you need the confidence of a winner. :smile: :grin: :lol: :!: