How To Remove Neediness From Your Life

If there is one big deal killer in sales, this is it…


You ever had somebody ‘needy’ in your life? Perhaps you’re taken back to High School memories where there was that desperate kid always trying to be accepted or to get a date.

What kind of emotions does that swell up in you? You almost feel sorry for that person, but you’re definitely NOT drawn to them. Desperation and Neediness reeks of failure and a lack of confidence. It’s a success repellent! So here’s the big idea:



It doesn’t just change how people view you, it changes how you view yourself. And you should be doing this, even the more so if you DO ‘need’ that sale, that client, or that deal.

You’ll start to attract people to you rather than detract. Here’s a tip that will help ya out:

Consider a busy Bus Stop in downtown New York City. You’re there needing a ride. You look at one bus, and something doesn’t seem right. It’s not the bus for you. So you let it go by.

Are you afraid at this point? Did you miss out on your once in a lifetime opportunity? No! Why? Because, another bus is just around the corner. And another one right after that one. They’re never ending.

Now think about this in relation to your business. If you start talking with one prospect and they are making unreasonable demands of your time, or they don’t seem like the right fit for you. Let them go without hesitation.

You can do this because there is an unending supply of leads and prospects right behind them just like the Bus Depot. They’re never ending. So cherry pick the people you want to work with. Life’s to short to be needy and to accept crumbs, to work with people that will make your life

Give yourself a little credit, remove neediness and act confidently in your business as the CEO of your life, the person in control, and just watch your business soar and your happiness grow.

33 thoughts on “How To Remove Neediness From Your Life”

  1. hotdogman says:

    Nice! John, you are a multi-faceted guy: blogger, entrepreneur an now, pop-psychologist! I see two kinds of people in my life: those that have my back and those that don’t. The ones that don’t include the “negative Nellies and naysayers” and people who have a negative outlook about ANYTHING positive I try to do for myself and my family. Any successful person in any business learns to cut those folks loose or be dragged down with them in a morass of negativity. BE POSITIVE!

  2. ClickBait says:

    Man becomes what he thinks about most of the time.
    This is my mantra all the days.
    Think about abundance and grow rich
    Thanks John for sharing

  3. So true John. So often people simply do not trust themselves….if you can’t trust yourself to make the right decisions why would anyone else trust you with their business!!!

    So, take a deep breath, put some time and energy into figuring out where your ideal clients are, and then start respecting them. The rest will follow….

  4. Louis says:

    I agree 100% what you just said John and thank you!
    I still enjoy doing cold callings to get my prospects – the more “NO” I get the closer I’m to getting a “YES”!
    It’s actually true!
    Yes, let the negative ones go and this includes the nay-sayers.

  5. DeVaughn says:

    This was some great insight.
    You tend attract the type of people you think about the most. So if you always thinking needy you will attract needy people into your life in all ways

  6. Noble says:

    You make a great point John. That is exactly what I do when potential buyers on a freelance site that I do work for want me do outrageous things for them. I let them know that maybe they can find another seller on the site who is a better fit for them. I do just what you outlined in this post; I show them that I’m not needy and desperate for work by suggesting that they find another freelancer more suitable to their needs. They thank me for my time, and I thank them for their interest in my services, and everyone is good.
    Good post.

  7. Artist612 says:

    Very intuitive and thought provoking. Thank you John.

  8. Wess Stewart says:

    This is really good advice. It’s a good feeling to keep negativity away in every aspect of life. If a potential customer is being difficult, it’s worth it to drop them and move on. The income that doesn’t come in is well worth it to be able to not deal with people like that.

  9. Shaun says:

    Hi John, Good analogy, never thought about it that way, life is short don’t waist your time on trivial things, when there are always better things to come. I’ve even experienced this phenomenon in relationships.

  10. Sabbel says:

    ok, noted

  11. That’s right, Johnny Cash!!! I’m exactly like a little school girl waiting for her sex and money freedom……You do know how to read me…bed boy!!!

  12. John,
    What you indicate in your article is a top characteristic of successful sales people! It really applies to all of us. After all, we are all really selling ourselves to others at the very least pretty much everyday.

    Be confident with an aura of moving forward whether they “buy” what you have or say or not. Have you ever noticed the one who goes into a job interview who projects such a position (one who does not really need the job perhaps because they already have a job) is the one who many times gets the position! Project confidence and strength -not neediness!

  13. Allison King says:

    This information is very inspirational & uplifting.

  14. Amr says:

    It is definitely a self improvement post and it is best than I actually write. 🙂 It is a nee of a real experience.

    More than thanks John

  15. Dear John………thanks for this article I think it’s very timely … question would be…
    When the “Neediness”… Feeling rears it’s ugly head….being aware it is happening stops it in its tracks,if aware,one can counteract….it’s when one cannot see it in ones own behaviour that it’s troublesome..? Who do you rely on to let you know you are behaving this way? Most friends would find this an awkward admission to tell someone?
    And second…To be “in need” in real life……do u just cover it up and pretend it’s not there? Do you lie to everyone around you and pretend u are not in need? Where does honesty,humility and integrity go when you are lying to your friends and business associates acting confidant and financially free all the while being in reality ” in urgent or desperate need”? Could you provide some middle ground here of how to act while you are in process of learning not to act “needy”? Where is the boundary lines?

  16. I. C. Daniel says:

    Hmmm… Okay… I’m going to do that!

  17. Rakesh Kumar says:

    This is the perfect post for me. I am selling some digital products ( very high in demand ) through my website and sometimes people demand so many changes that takes a lots of time and i was doing all those changes without charging any thing extra. Your article had shown me the path i should choose. Thanks a lot for this wonderful though provoking idea. Keep in touch

  18. Yan says:

    This is really interest thoughts, thanks for sharing.

  19. Patrick says:

    Good point John. You are quite right! Keep up with good work 🙂

  20. Tanya says:

    Excellent stuff -just what I needed to hear today : ) thank you John – I need to go out and find some new business soon, and this makes so much sense-confidence wins, even if you don’t get the first one, you’ll eventually get the right one, or two, or three : )

  21. Sunday says:

    I would say that this is a candid advice. Just like Metz has stated, this may not be easy for most people because they may rely on that one opportunity.

    Its still boils down to how well a business is prepared to let go.

    Doing away with ‘neediness’ or things (and prospects) that never add value to a business is NECESSARY for success.

    In the very least, this ideology should open up road for greater impact.

  22. Hi John, as my good mentor always taught me…

    Focus on ‘adding value first’ and the money will follow naturally!


  23. Joe McCready says:

    Valuable tip John. Firing or not taking on a new client could save any small business owner time and aggravation and allow them to focus on that next “bus.” I know many small businesses that welcome any and all customers with a pulse and a wallet! Sad, but true.

    Thanks John!

  24. Omar says:

    As Yan says, thanks for sharing the idea of eliminating neediness from one’s life.

  25. Mi Muba says:

    What an inspirational post John. Most of us face this problem and never identify it properly. They way you defined it with a cool solution is really awesome. Thanks again.

  26. faisal says:

    Takes time and a lot of self belief

  27. Mark says:

    It’s unusual and possibly a coincidence, but when I was in the corporate rat race I would get needy people trying to take my time and tell me about their boring problems.

    What I came to notice was that you’d give these people sound advice and then they’d come back a week later complaining about their problems again, without ever having taken your advice.

    And check this..

    Once I’d started my own business and got my head above water, then bizarrely, these people didn’t only just stop telling me their problems, they actually stopped contacting me completely.

    Try to work that one out.

  28. AK says:

    The article is very educative and it prepares someone to act rightly. There are 3 lessons there for me to learn:
    1. Some prospects are not ready to move with you in achieving your dream, it is quick to identify them and let them go without hesitation.
    2. Identify those prospects who are ready to move with you and get along with them. They will form part of your success stories.
    3.You can be a CEO of your life, be in controi and act with confidence because you can find arround you unending leads of prospects and necessary factors as instruments in one’s hand to propel someone to your desired result .

  29. Oscar Meza says:

    Great post John! Law of attraction is always working.

  30. Nayetta says:

    Yes John. So true. Neediness is like the tip of the iceberg. If neediness is that obvious, there’s a lot more need underneath and that scares people away.

    Being confident that I have a good product helps keep me from being needy. I trust that my good product is good for someone. If that someone is not the potential person I am talking to or marketing to, then…”Next!”

  31. Steve says:

    John…Great analogy with the bus depot….You’re absolutely right.

  32. Bro John,
    You are indeed an internet genius. I have received newsletter from you for well over 3 years now and I feel it is time to start giving a try to some of your proposed projects like the wordpress, 21 steps… I believe you have genuine intention to help world citizens to get out of the prevalent state of poverty…
    I shall contact you soon.

  33. Louie Sison says:


    That bus stop story struck a jolt to my bones. Really inspiring!

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