The Rich Jerk Is For Sale

Rich Jerk Wrote Me This:

Dear Loser,

Here we go again. Any time I do anything "discreetly", my band
of religious followers sniffs it out and displays it publicly,
causing a huge uproar in the forums, etc.

Here's the deal:

My business manager recently asked to list my entire business
for sale. So I let him. Why?

1. It's always nice to know what people think your biz is
worth in the real world. (Most webmasters value their
biz in fantasy dollars)

2. It's an easy way to make contacts and establish rapport with
"players" in the industry. People who have money and
can make things happen. These are the people I want on
my rolodex.

3. It's fun to watch all of the wannabes scurry around
and speculate based on nothing. Is he? Isn't he? Why?
Oh my God. Mommy!

4. Obvious free traffic. (shame shame shame)

5. I can do whatever the fu*k I want.

--------------------------------------------

So anyway, apparently my biz manager wrote up an Ebay ad
and never finished it. He scheduled it to list 30 days later, giving
him time to finish it. He forgot. Oops. So once it listed, we pulled
it immediately. That's when the firestorm started.

But guess what? I ain't going nowhere. Even if by some remote
chance a buyer comes along who wants to give me millions & millions
for my biz, I'm staying on board because this ship would SINK
without me. Just look at all of the copycats. They FAIL because
they TRY to be me. It doesn't work.

I have BIG plans for this company. And I may even begin working
one whole day per week on it now, instead of just a half day. All
I need to do is cut loose one of my ladies, and Tanya has been
annoying the sh*t out of me lately. So the timing is perfect.

---------------------------------------------

****BIG NEWS****

The Rich Jerk Playboy Mansion Party date has been locked down.
It's a Friday in July. I'll tell you which one later. I'm handing over a
quarter million dollars for this party. $250k for one night. That's
probably more than your house isn't it? That's a shame.

You won't believe what's going to happen at this thing. All I
can say is it's gonna be LEGENDARY. It's the kind of thing an old
guy can tell his grandkids about on his deathbed, so he can croak
with a smile.

And a few of you smart fu*ks are already guaranteed a precious
ticket to my party. Those who bought a few products from me in
the past where I offered the party as a bonus. You know who you
are. And if you are still with the programs, you're in.

As for the rest of you, you're fu*ked. Well, maybe not. I do still have
room for a few people at the party. So I think I'm just gonna sell the
remaining tickets on a first come first serve basis. I'll tell you the cost
in an email next week, and I'll include a link. They'll probably sell out
within a few hours.

By the way, rumor has it that there will be dozens of centerfolds
present at the party, lots of body painted chicks, a world famous DJ,
a HUGE world famous band, multiple open bars, tons of celebrities, press,
red carpet, and more. And of course Hef & the ladies.

Also, a few of the most influential marketers in the world
will be attending. For example, John Reese just confirmed attendance
because we're donating some of the ticket proceeds to a good charity.

Did I mention that after 10pm clothing is optional?

Anyway, that should be enough to wet your whistles, you fu*kin perverts.

Later Losers,

RJ

I always thought the Rich Jerk ads were too racy. I guess it was a neat idea to offend people into buying your product.

Just think, if you have $8,000,000 to buy it, you can now be not only rich, but a jerk.
Or, you could be a poor jerk.
I dunno.

have you been to the site ... if you look at the video on the home page ... it says checks that were found in the trunk and were never cashed oh well ... the funny thing is those checks were all photo copies ... they were in black and white ... the google checks have a Green Stripe at the top not a black stripe ... LOL ha ha ha

Thats too funny and his price of the system dropped from $197 to $9.99 ... LOL

WOW

He must really be hurting!

Darin

Hehe, it would be funny if he's really bankrupt.
I must admit his advertisements are pretty good though.

E-books are so overated...lol

I'm not sure about the bankruptcy thing either.
He's just selling the business as it's dieing out. Not many potential customers left.
Sure the TV ads were expensive and pointless, but this doesn't mean he's bankrupt.
He's probably doing some other stuff that is more longterm or maybe he's going back to his acting career? :grin:

Nobody is going to want this since the business is tied to a likeness. Even if he's 'anonymous' it doesn't matter, people will find out it's not the original guy. It's no longer possible for it to be genuine.

I don't buy the fact that he is going bankrupt. I can see him wanting to sell it cause its getting old or because "multiple owner's are looking to work on other projects, seperately."

If he was going bankrupt all he would have to do is wait another month or two and more money flows in. I think his banks/creditors would rather wait to get ALL their money if he really was going bankrupt.

This is pretty funny. I'm glad I didn't pay for his ebook! ;)

Thank you, John!
You are realiizing we are helping him tremendously with sale of the biz just blogging about it? Do we get any kickbacks for that?

Is this what we are talking about? I don't know if that is called a publishing biz? :roll:

Asking Price: $8,500,000
Gross Revenue: $2,272,000
Cash Flow: $1,003,000
Inventory: $6,000,000 (Included in Asking Price)
FF&E: $27,000 (Included in Asking Price)
Seller Financing: The Seller is willing to provide limited financing under the right circumstances.
Business Summary
Lucrative Publisher In A Prosperous Niche seeks to semi-retire. He is willing to continue to work for the Buyer on a part-time basis for a To Be Determined (TBD) extended period. The Seller of this Middle Tennessee Printing and Publishing business has reinvested heavily every year in increased Inventory. The Inventory has in turn grown in value (and it is estimated herein at its wholesale value). As a result, the purchase of a large and well-chosen Inventory is integral to purchasing this great business. The value of the inventory will again be higher in 2007. This eleven-year-old business is fully relocatable. The intangible assets of this business include, but are not limited to, a loyal customer base, a great brand name, and publishing rights. With a 20% Down Payment, 80% Third Party Financing is planned. However, the Seller is willing to consider a limited amount of Seller Financing under the right circumstances.

Furniture, Fixtures, & Equipment: $27,000
Vehicles and / or rolling stock: $-0-
Inventory: $6,000,000
Accounts Receivable (if included): $-0-
Land and Building (if included): $-0-
Other Assets: $2,500,000
Current Liabilities to be assumed: $-0-
Current Notes to be assumed $-0-
Asking Price: $8,500,000
Down Payment: $1,700,000
Annual Sales Volume: $2,272,000
Cash Flow: $1,003,000

About the Business
Year Established: 1996
Employees: 5 full time -
Relocatable: Yes
Home Based: Yes
Facilities: The Seller leases the 4,000 sq. ft. facilities at $4,000 per month. He is willing to do the same for the Buyer, but only on a short-term basis (until the business is relocated).
Market Outlook and Competition: While there are other companies offering somewhat similar products, they do not compete directly in this Seller's niche.
About the Sale
Management Training and Support: Negotiable. The Seller is willing to work part time for the Seller on a reimbursed basis for an extended period.
Reason For Selling: The Seller wishes to semi-retire.

That's going to be a heck of a lot of T-shirts for $8 million! Is the brand really worth that much? I can't see how the other crap they're including can be! That's the point behind these new companies: they don't have much in fixed assets, except chairs and desks.
$8,000,000. I'll offer $8,000!

Kenneth

Could be another one of his tactics to draw attention... hmmmm

Going bankrupt could be stretching it a bit, but I can believe he's paying for his questionable advertising tactics. 8 million for an ex-rich jerk site...I don't know if anyone would be interested to pay that much for it.

Hmm... I'm not so sure about him going bankrupt. His business ethics are a bit shifty. His eBook actually helped me out a bit. It really spelled out how to get started. hehe Btw John, you're a rich jerk for the pay2dofollow thing.

I wish to sell my blog for 8 million too. Do you think people will believe Kelly? If yes I'm sure that fellow is a rich dummy man. :D

Well, if a business behaves very strange from the beginning and "jerky", the end is predicted... :cool:

haha..he actually ask for 8million..after the sale he will be one rich jerk

the new owner will be poorer by 8million

Is anyone gonna buy this? I wonder... I don't think I wanna be the next Rich Jerk.

I don't believe it. He just launched "Xray" which was one of those google ppc tracking tools for affiliates. Most likely he's moving up the food chain.

Web 2.0 burst so soon? Funny that it would happen by blowing VC on ineffective advertising... Who could possibly have seen that coming?