Using What You Know About Dating To Score At Business

Written by Alex Shalman, who does for Personal Development what Bruce Lee did for Kung Fu.

Two things that will forever be intertwined within the universal laws of human interactions are dating and business. In either one or the other there is a very particular courtship; a playful hope at a connection, if only in the present moment.

Make no mistake, I am not a pick up artist (PUA), nor am I a scoundrel of the business persuasion. On the other hand, I am not denouncing the company of a female companion for the pure exultation of the climax, nor am I dismissing the jubilance of penetrating a gentleman’s purse with my ideas.

To each his own, but my goal is to simply show you how it’s done, not to dictate what you use this new found skill for. After all, at the end of the day you have to live with your own decisions right?

I’m not part of the PUA community, and while I’m not hating on using certain techniques, I’m mostly advocating being yourself and finding the most perfect match for you. I’m not saying being yourself as in being an AFC.

If your social skills are poor, you can always improve on them. However, there are core essentials to what you are, and more importantly to what you want, that need to be determined first. Once you know what you want, it’s easy to filter out all the people that don’t fit the bill, and go out there and grab the one that’s right for you with full confidence.

When you know the type of girl that you want, you’ll end up rejecting a lot of girls, because they don’t fit your particular requirements. When you do a bunch of rejecting, you demonstrate that you are of higher value. Eventually when you find the one that tickles your fancy, you’ll already be in a position of high quality.

When you know the type of client you’re looking for, you’ll end up rejecting a lot of clients, because they don’t fit your particular requirements. When you do a bunch of rejecting, you demonstrate that you are of higher value. Eventually when you find the one that tickles your fancy, you’ll already be in a position of high quality.

Yes, you did just read the same paragraph twice. As you can already see, you can substitute nearly any word in this formula and the equation works. Try it for yourself with words such as blogger, pickle, or boss. See? They all fit into the equation.

Speaking of bloggers, notice how John has high-quality guest bloggers on his site? Not naming any names, just saying. That’s because John has established himself as a high-quality blogger that is known for top notch content.

To put my money where my mouth is, I recently started a Podcast show on iTunes, and I’ve already got some excellent interviews on there, including John Chow. See here (link opens iTunes application). I first demonstrated value for the Podcast by uploading my appearance on SIRIUS Satellite Radio, and then I only ask people to come on the show that I think have a lot of value to add, are high-profile, super successful, or have an inspiring self-improvement story.

It’s a no brainer that being selective is the key to success. Just look how all of us got here, the Theory of Natural SELECTION. Only the strong survive, right? I talk more about being selective in my free ebook, How to Get a Girlfriend, where I demonstrate all the right questions to ask yourself in order to figure out exactly what you’re looking for.

Going through life not knowing what you want, either in relationships, with clients, bloggers, pickles, or bosses, will leave you with the choice that no body else wanted. Get the knowledge, make the decision, and change your life!

28 thoughts on “Using What You Know About Dating To Score At Business”

  1. Alex Shalman says:

    Thanks for getting this post up John. I hope you guys enjoy the free ebook. Remember, it’s not just for single guys looking for a girlfriend – it works with any relationship boy, girl, black, white, purple, gay, straight, oh and yes BUSINESS.

    1. I’m looking forward to reading this e-book! Although I’m currently in no position to use any of the info, I’m sure it’s an interesting read at the very least!! Plus I can always pass the info along to my friends 🙂

    2. Asking the right questions is the key. Questions by default eliminate unimportant parts. You’re right….If I ask, where are the blonds then that means where do are the dark haired women that I don’t need to go.

      I do have a question. Is the reason that there are so many correlations to business and dating here because these bloggers can’t get a date?

      1. Blog Expert says:

        yes, most bloggers cannot get a date.

    3. Li Weng says:

      Very interesting post and concept. I wonder what would happen if John put his blogging skills in dating… hmmmm 😉

  2. Tamar says:

    Knowing what you want is the first step to taking control of your life. To have your own business you have to know what you want to market, so they go hand in hand.

    1. Trevor says:

      Nice summary of the article. Exact in my opinion.

  3. tom says:

    Great article Alex.

    So many of us are afraid to express what we really want, as a result we end up following other peoples advice and getting no where.

    I think we need to listen to ourselves, and then express what we want to the universe and wait for it to respond.

    Definately going to check our your e-book.


  4. I guess “Casanova” would be the perfect blogger, won’t him?

    1. Li Weng says:

      Well, given this logic, the top bloggers online are also top daters! That’s blogging for you, comes with many benefits in life. What is AFC btw?

  5. Li Weng says:

    Although I do agree with you somewhat Alex, I believe there’s more to it than just knowing what you want and rejecting what doesn’t fit you. Something else I see as significant is that you need to provide VALUE, not just the type of perceived value from rejecting others, but tangible value that people think they can benefit from. As with John, do you think he will be where he is today just rejecting a bunch of people without providing value? The truth is, he’s able to choose and reject because he’s established himself, but if you’re too picky in the start and too demanding of others without looking at yourself, then it’s a good way to break a lot of relationships.

    1. one thing you missed. John’s customer niche are those like himself. He has stated before that he wrote what he wanted and then the people came. I don’t think that the point of what alex was writing was about creating exclusivity (although a niche naturally produces that) but going after the customer base that you want to provide a service to. Now granted the article did not mention value but I think you would say that it was implied. I will also say that it was good that you brought it up because sometimes we need people to remind us what is so easily forgotten.

      If you give no value then the customer won’t give you the value of their hard earned dollar

  6. Good write up…well recently i just launched a love blog – Cupid Blogger Dot Com

    Do check it out..

    1. Nice plug there cupid hehehe

  7. Ben Pei says:

    Lol business and dating linked together! Interesting..

  8. nice read there.
    something unique topic he picked up. 🙂

  9. Greg Ellison says:

    very interesting connection between dating and the business world. Thanks Greg Ellison

  10. Very interesting post and concept. I wonder what would happen if John put his blogging skills in dating

    1. Alex Shalman says:

      I don’t think his wife would be too happy with that. However, I think he would be a PIMP! =)

    2. he would make another 40 k a month from it 🙂

      1. Alex Shalman says:

        Pimping pays much more than blogging does!

  11. john….thanks for nice topic, your blog very popular like bruce lee

  12. pearlin says:

    Very amusing post. I agree on some points however, I think most men are not so selective when it comes to girls. They subscribe to the adage – the more the merrier! And some businesses operate that way too!

  13. Hehe, I’m thinking David DeAngelo’s tips in a business sense…interesting..

  14. BusinessX says:

    Cannot recall where I read this recently, but essentially it said that negotiation success depends on one’s ability to walk away from the deal. Goes for dating or business.

  15. game-girl says:

    I anticipate the success of the e-book. The relationship of any kind is the matter of great value for me.

  16. Everything’s about human interaction. Whether it be in person or behind a screen, we must always remember that there are normal emotions going back and forth every transaction at all times.

    Much like in a great and rewarding relationship, if you can truly demonstrate that you understand your customer’s needs, you’ll go far in any business.

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