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Why You Fail and How To Stay Strong In Times of Failure

written by Guest Blogger on July 13, 2010

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In life itself, we are constantly faced with numerous hurdles and obstacles. Some are minor and some are difficult enough to get in your way to life’s success. Even as I am writing now as we speak, I just stumbled upon one failure that even thou it may not be life threatening, it is serious enough to bring my ever confident morale down. As a blogger, we are frequently faced with such agendas. We usually tend to be discouraged within many aspects of our blogging process. When the traffic drops, when we are not making the number of sales we wanted, when we see a high rise in bounce rate, where commentators usually drop negative comments on our posts and so the list goes on.

However what is success without failure?

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

While there are many ways to go about when facing such circumstances and needless to say that it won’t stop, I am not intimidated by what will be coming ahead. Why? Because I have come to see it in a bigger picture. This is much more important and crucial to my success. There are more to what it is than just simply failing and falling. It is my sincere wish that this will put you on the right path to succeeding online. It would be extremely beneficial to identify the reasons of such circumstances. By doing so, you have a better chance of solving the problem, as well as progressing into a more personally-fulfilling stage of being a successful blogger.

“I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.”
-General George S. Patton

Why is it that we fail as a blogger?

1. Fear

Believe it or not, it is not love, not happiness but fear in itself is the largest driving force behind all mankind’s decision. As a blogger, many of us fear for such scenarios. We ought to perform on what is needed to be done that inevitably may contradict our best preferences instead of doing what is right. Let me share some examples:

  • “I should work on P.P.C. because it brings me faster targeted traffic” (fear of losing out)
  • “I need to purchase this product instantly as it promises to lift the way my blog perform instantly” (fear of not being able to perform at an optimum level)
  • “I need to stick with only this marketing strategy” (fear of change)
  • “I can’t bring myself to post any comments or my own personal statement online” (fear of rejection)

Slowly but gradually, we are been eaten by our own personal guilt. As we tend to face fear as it is, we are deliberately hanging ourselves by a tread. It is either we continue holding on strongly or fall dreadfully.

We are afraid of the unknown. Not knowing what the future or outcome may hold if such actions were taken. We fear of judging it as failure often outweighs the joy of success. However, this shouldn’t be the case. Not for you. By understanding and programming our mind to see things differently for your future’s success, eventually the unknown isn’t just as fearful as it may seem to be anymore.

“Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.”
- Dr. David M. Burns

Confront your fears or there will eventually run your life.

2. Struggle for a change

The key to change is to let go of fear. Relatively speaking from the above mentioned point, inevitably when you learn to face your fear, you will be more open to changes. Learning to change positively is one of the major factors in life’s success.

We often fear such changes because in most cases, it is often accompanied by the feeling of insecurity and lost. We are often afraid of such changes because you don’t think you would have the energy and the potential to cope up with something new.

As the given example given: “I need to stick with only this marketing strategy” (fear of change)

As a blogger, we tend to be comfortable with a particular marketing method. We have secure how our daily activities, routines and performances would suit and work around such marketing strategy that we tend to restrict ourselves from leaving its ‘comfort’ zone. However, it would only bring you by ‘this’ far.

If you are seeking for far greater success, changes are inevitable.

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

3. Lack of persistence

“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”
- Calvin Coolidge

Most of the bloggers I have come to know about fail not because they lack in knowledge of skill but because they call it quit. Eventually this happens because more often when situations seem discouraging, quitting seems to be the easiest way out.

By taking the easy way out, we are losing more of our future’s opportunity. Inevitably, when you work on big goals, your motivation will tend to rise and fall. Out of uncertain circumstances, sometimes you will feel motivated, sometimes you won’t. However, you must always remember that success derives surely from actions and motivation is just a way of attending to such emotional needs. Persistence on the other hand keeps you going regardless of motivation.

4. Procrastinating and giving excuses

“I am not capable enough to learn about blogging”
“I don’t write good English.”
“It’s not the time yet.”
“Making money online is never ever possible.”
“Making money online through blogs is not legitimate.”
“I don’t have the necessary skills to do so.”
“I am too ‘old’ for this.”
Etc…

Like it or not, every bloggers that I have read about stopped blogging even before they bear results. They are giving themselves way too many excuses when they are discouraged by the situation.

Such ‘claims’ can be very destructive, unproductive, stressful and often times leave you guilty of the things you failed to do. Giving yourself excuses and procrastinating your own failure happens because of the lack of proper analysis, planning and control of the situation. Most of them, it happens because they lack the courage to take up responsibilities on their own actions and behaviour.

How You Can Stay Strong In Times of Failure

1. Stop the self criticism

Making money online through blogging is very much realistically possible and often times, we hear of people making almost six figures a month. You decide to try it out for yourself and realize that you are not making a single cent out of it. As you failed to meet your expectations, you make believe that the author of the blog was just only lucky or that he may be inevitably just hyping it up. As a result, you give up and believing that such opportunity is never meant for you.

Most often time, emotion plays a very critical part in deciding either we stand back up or back away from such failures. Adopting a new belief negatively when times are bad can subsequently cause great harm.

No one is born special. Every blogger that I know started out from zero, even I. Every blogger started out the same way with same information embedded to make money online. One person can become wildly successful with it while another could end up not doing a thing to progress.

2. Start small but progress as you move along

Who can ever resist the temptation of making nearly six figures just working online? However, such structure takes time and one shouldn’t just dwell on it when starting. Start small and low and eventually yield positive results as you progress along.

When our expectations are high, believing that we can make it big just within a month working online, we might never have the appropriate patience to even get that far. Being realistic and initially setting your goals low would subsequently drive you the right results you were hoping for.

3. Anticipate and plan

There will be numerous times where you will find challenge simply exceeds your ability to perform optimally. However, do not be afraid to admit to why it happens. This may be due to the lack of experience, resources or misleading information.

Such setbacks are a great starting point to begin your next point to embark on. Examine the loss, learned from lesson no matter how painful it ought to be and plan for what is best done for the future. Instead of seeing failure as just failure itself, you can always opt in to believe that anticipating and learning to plan ahead can often prepare yourself to face challenge up ahead.

“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. “
- Zig Ziglar

4. Take a break

There is a saying that goes by “too much of something is not good”. Therefore, give yourself a break and you will see that the little distance you have deliberately created between you and your blogging business online will result in a much more positive comeback.

Taking a break by all means do not necessary require you to take the one week off and completely forget about your blog. However, you can always perform simple actions for a breather like going out for walks, get out with friends, and watch a movie, anything that will take your eyes for a few moments off the computer screen.

5. Enjoy every step of the process as you go along

It is only normal that you will eventually have to start from zero when you are practically new in a specific field. Therefore, abandon your ego and start cultivating such character that would eventually build you success.

Learn to enjoy every it bit the process as you go along and never be too hasty on what you ought to learn about .Do not expect yourself t be a self-thought expert in 6 months down the road. Instead, apply and improve as you learn. Accept the fact that no matter how good someone gets at blogging or having an online business, they did not substantially establish such lucrative business within a month or one year per say.

6. Believe in yourself

This is inevitably one of the most difficult challenge an individual can possibly personally face. You can have the most supportive team to back you up but if you fail to ever believe in whatever you set out to accomplish, it will proof to be a very dire situation for you to posses the right drive to continue pushing on. You are responsible for your own success and not anyone else. Start taking responsible for your own success into your own hands.

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”
- Peter T. Mcintyre

What do you think?

Have you succumb to failure yourself and succeed to tell about it? Do you have other points to add to the list? Please feel free to share on the comment section below. As we know, learning and sharing is really a part of succeeding.

Febap Liew is the author and owner of Blogxic where she shares her ever igniting passion on everything she ought to know about the best ways to make money online today. Follow her at her blog, adding her on the RSS Feed or add her directly on twitter at @FebapLiew.

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