Why You Fail and How To Stay Strong In Times of Failure

In life itself, we are constantly faced with numerous hurdles and obstacles. Some are minor and some are difficult enough to get in your way to life’s success. Even as I am writing now as we speak, I just stumbled upon one failure that even thou it may not be life threatening, it is serious enough to bring my ever confident morale down. As a blogger, we are frequently faced with such agendas. We usually tend to be discouraged within many aspects of our blogging process. When the traffic drops, when we are not making the number of sales we wanted, when we see a high rise in bounce rate, where commentators usually drop negative comments on our posts and so the list goes on.

However what is success without failure?

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

While there are many ways to go about when facing such circumstances and needless to say that it won’t stop, I am not intimidated by what will be coming ahead. Why? Because I have come to see it in a bigger picture. This is much more important and crucial to my success. There are more to what it is than just simply failing and falling. It is my sincere wish that this will put you on the right path to succeeding online. It would be extremely beneficial to identify the reasons of such circumstances. By doing so, you have a better chance of solving the problem, as well as progressing into a more personally-fulfilling stage of being a successful blogger.

“I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.”
-General George S. Patton

Why is it that we fail as a blogger?

1. Fear

Believe it or not, it is not love, not happiness but fear in itself is the largest driving force behind all mankind’s decision. As a blogger, many of us fear for such scenarios. We ought to perform on what is needed to be done that inevitably may contradict our best preferences instead of doing what is right. Let me share some examples:

  • “I should work on P.P.C. because it brings me faster targeted traffic” (fear of losing out)
  • “I need to purchase this product instantly as it promises to lift the way my blog perform instantly” (fear of not being able to perform at an optimum level)
  • “I need to stick with only this marketing strategy” (fear of change)
  • “I can’t bring myself to post any comments or my own personal statement online” (fear of rejection)

Slowly but gradually, we are been eaten by our own personal guilt. As we tend to face fear as it is, we are deliberately hanging ourselves by a tread. It is either we continue holding on strongly or fall dreadfully.

We are afraid of the unknown. Not knowing what the future or outcome may hold if such actions were taken. We fear of judging it as failure often outweighs the joy of success. However, this shouldn’t be the case. Not for you. By understanding and programming our mind to see things differently for your future’s success, eventually the unknown isn’t just as fearful as it may seem to be anymore.

“Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.”
- Dr. David M. Burns

Confront your fears or there will eventually run your life.

2. Struggle for a change

The key to change is to let go of fear. Relatively speaking from the above mentioned point, inevitably when you learn to face your fear, you will be more open to changes. Learning to change positively is one of the major factors in life’s success.

We often fear such changes because in most cases, it is often accompanied by the feeling of insecurity and lost. We are often afraid of such changes because you don’t think you would have the energy and the potential to cope up with something new.

As the given example given: “I need to stick with only this marketing strategy” (fear of change)

As a blogger, we tend to be comfortable with a particular marketing method. We have secure how our daily activities, routines and performances would suit and work around such marketing strategy that we tend to restrict ourselves from leaving its ‘comfort’ zone. However, it would only bring you by ‘this’ far.

If you are seeking for far greater success, changes are inevitable.

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

3. Lack of persistence

“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”
- Calvin Coolidge

Most of the bloggers I have come to know about fail not because they lack in knowledge of skill but because they call it quit. Eventually this happens because more often when situations seem discouraging, quitting seems to be the easiest way out.

By taking the easy way out, we are losing more of our future’s opportunity. Inevitably, when you work on big goals, your motivation will tend to rise and fall. Out of uncertain circumstances, sometimes you will feel motivated, sometimes you won’t. However, you must always remember that success derives surely from actions and motivation is just a way of attending to such emotional needs. Persistence on the other hand keeps you going regardless of motivation.

4. Procrastinating and giving excuses

“I am not capable enough to learn about blogging”
“I don’t write good English.”
“It’s not the time yet.”
“Making money online is never ever possible.”
“Making money online through blogs is not legitimate.”
“I don’t have the necessary skills to do so.”
“I am too ‘old’ for this.”
Etc…

Like it or not, every bloggers that I have read about stopped blogging even before they bear results. They are giving themselves way too many excuses when they are discouraged by the situation.

Such ‘claims’ can be very destructive, unproductive, stressful and often times leave you guilty of the things you failed to do. Giving yourself excuses and procrastinating your own failure happens because of the lack of proper analysis, planning and control of the situation. Most of them, it happens because they lack the courage to take up responsibilities on their own actions and behaviour.

How You Can Stay Strong In Times of Failure

1. Stop the self criticism

Making money online through blogging is very much realistically possible and often times, we hear of people making almost six figures a month. You decide to try it out for yourself and realize that you are not making a single cent out of it. As you failed to meet your expectations, you make believe that the author of the blog was just only lucky or that he may be inevitably just hyping it up. As a result, you give up and believing that such opportunity is never meant for you.

Most often time, emotion plays a very critical part in deciding either we stand back up or back away from such failures. Adopting a new belief negatively when times are bad can subsequently cause great harm.

No one is born special. Every blogger that I know started out from zero, even I. Every blogger started out the same way with same information embedded to make money online. One person can become wildly successful with it while another could end up not doing a thing to progress.

2. Start small but progress as you move along

Who can ever resist the temptation of making nearly six figures just working online? However, such structure takes time and one shouldn’t just dwell on it when starting. Start small and low and eventually yield positive results as you progress along.

When our expectations are high, believing that we can make it big just within a month working online, we might never have the appropriate patience to even get that far. Being realistic and initially setting your goals low would subsequently drive you the right results you were hoping for.

3. Anticipate and plan

There will be numerous times where you will find challenge simply exceeds your ability to perform optimally. However, do not be afraid to admit to why it happens. This may be due to the lack of experience, resources or misleading information.

Such setbacks are a great starting point to begin your next point to embark on. Examine the loss, learned from lesson no matter how painful it ought to be and plan for what is best done for the future. Instead of seeing failure as just failure itself, you can always opt in to believe that anticipating and learning to plan ahead can often prepare yourself to face challenge up ahead.

“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. “
- Zig Ziglar

4. Take a break

There is a saying that goes by “too much of something is not good”. Therefore, give yourself a break and you will see that the little distance you have deliberately created between you and your blogging business online will result in a much more positive comeback.

Taking a break by all means do not necessary require you to take the one week off and completely forget about your blog. However, you can always perform simple actions for a breather like going out for walks, get out with friends, and watch a movie, anything that will take your eyes for a few moments off the computer screen.

5. Enjoy every step of the process as you go along

It is only normal that you will eventually have to start from zero when you are practically new in a specific field. Therefore, abandon your ego and start cultivating such character that would eventually build you success.

Learn to enjoy every it bit the process as you go along and never be too hasty on what you ought to learn about .Do not expect yourself t be a self-thought expert in 6 months down the road. Instead, apply and improve as you learn. Accept the fact that no matter how good someone gets at blogging or having an online business, they did not substantially establish such lucrative business within a month or one year per say.

6. Believe in yourself

This is inevitably one of the most difficult challenge an individual can possibly personally face. You can have the most supportive team to back you up but if you fail to ever believe in whatever you set out to accomplish, it will proof to be a very dire situation for you to posses the right drive to continue pushing on. You are responsible for your own success and not anyone else. Start taking responsible for your own success into your own hands.

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”
- Peter T. Mcintyre

What do you think?

Have you succumb to failure yourself and succeed to tell about it? Do you have other points to add to the list? Please feel free to share on the comment section below. As we know, learning and sharing is really a part of succeeding.

Febap Liew is the author and owner of Blogxic where she shares her ever igniting passion on everything she ought to know about the best ways to make money online today. Follow her at her blog, adding her on the RSS Feed or add her directly on twitter at @FebapLiew.


91 thoughts on “Why You Fail and How To Stay Strong In Times of Failure”

  1. I feel like if I do what I love, I will never fail. Even if I fail, I still love what I’m doing.

    1. That’s a good quote. The only trouble is that it only becomes a loving activity when there is money to be made as well. The great thing in failure is that the life experience is priceless.
      But when love and money are together in harmony…life is good.

      1. No way. Money has nothing to do with it. If you love it, you’ll do it for free. Money isn’t everything.

        1. exactly…i’m doing what i love because I love it…when it starts to make money…well, that’s just a perk of the job

          1. Ryan McLean says:

            I think you need to do what you love WITH a commercial outlook on the thing. Yes you need to do what you love, but not in exchange for feeding your family.
            You need to do both, do what you love AND make money. Otherwise just do what you love as a hobby and get a job somewhere else.

        2. d3so says:

          Persistence is my power. As long as I enjoy what I’m doing, I will never give until I become successful.
          Very inspirational & motivational post :)

          1. @ Vincent,
            yea, i am sure it is never entirely about the money when you see ‘fear’ in its eyes. it takes courage to be where you want to be and do what you ought to do. making money will eventually be ‘secondary’.

            @ SEO: TopCommenter.com
            well initially it was but i believe as yo progress and eventually enjoy what you are doing, the subject of money soon is over shadowed. which is good i see it in a way. =)

            @Online College Courses
            lol.. we enjoy what we do and if you notice money coming in your way, it sort of add as a strong motivation for us to strive even further. however,lets not be too obsessed by the dollars,aye. =)

            @d3so
            not many could actually cultivate and posses such a character,d3so. Persistence takes a whole lot of will power to accomplish and i am really happy for you to be able to do exactly just that =) kudos.

          2. PPC Ian says:

            d3so,
            Great point! I agree with you in the power of persistence. It’s all about finding the perfect niche that you enjoy and then sticking it out for the long run!
            Best,
            Ian

        3. What if you want to do what you love, but you need money to do it? At some point in our lives, we are all going to have a job we don’t like because we’re working towards doing something we do love.

          1. @ Insurance Izzy
            that is quite inevitable, buddy.
            the road to success is all about endurance too. endure the present to shape your past. =)

      2. Bidet says:

        Money is not everything if you really love doing something you should not do it for the money, the money will come after and if it does not, you are still doing what you love.

        1. PPC Ian says:

          Bidet,
          That is a really great point! I couldn’t agree more.
          Best,
          Ian

    2. hey james,
      you are exactly right on that.
      it is inevitably true that if you love and enjoy what you doing, failing is really never an ‘option’ and besides, i believe we would eventually push on all we can for it =)
      cheers

    3. That’s a great point. If we love what we’re doing, then we won’t feel that we are working, thus, preventing us to fail.

    4. So true :)

      And it always seems that the people that are most successful are the people that really love what they do.

      Find your passion and you will find your ideal occupation

  2. Vincent Ng says:

    Hey John, this is some great advice. This is why I really love reading your blog so much. It’s inspirational, funny at times, and it offers great reminders about how to be successful in life and business.

    Especially taking a break. That one can be hard to do when we’re always caught up in trying to get a business up and going .

    1. Hey Vincent, it’s Febap Liew who wrote this post which is great and packed with good tips and psychology and quotes and which I find a bit too overwhelming.

      Knowing John he tends to be more brief and to the point. John doesn’t drag things out.

      1. @ Vincent
        *chuckle* hehehe
        but i am glad that you have enjoyed reading it =)

        @Email List Building
        lol..thank you for taking notice =)
        cheers

      2. You’re right. Thanks for reminding him that it’s not John. =) I already know that it’s not John, due to the writing style, but the content is good, and well-covered.

        1. Yes big one but worthy to read.

          Let me save this …

  3. CJ says:

    Awesome tips!
    I know that taking a break is always one of the best ways to keep my mind positive.

    Sometimes things just build up and taking a break is really the only way to give yourself a chance to think clearly.

    Great post

    CJ

    1. Yes, the taking a break point is one of the most important ones since we tend to sometimes work at the expense of everything else including sleep.

      While that attitude is on the one hand admirable, it is really self defeating. Refreshing the mind and the body by taking breaks is essential.

      1. @CJ
        hey cj =) nice meeting you here too
        exactly but at times i find it sooooo hard to just get up from my seat and work on something that doesn’t require staring into the monitor screen.. i have to ‘push’ my self to just breakaway.. as you know, blogging and making money online can be so addicting. but hey, i feel really much more energized after a break.. it really works and it keeps me going further.

        @Email List Building
        you are right about that. no matter how reluctant we ought to be, convincing ourselves that ‘i can still push on’ without break,..that just won’t do, ain’t it my friend. =) when one tends to ignore the signs our body is telling us *go and take a break*, eventually we may exhaust ourselves completely and deteriorate our performance. =)

      2. You’re right. We need to take some time off and not exhaust ourselves, we should also have a work-life balance.=)

        1. I believe in different way … once I start anything I want to complete it first because I do not want to loose my concentration.

          Once your mind start working on any project than you should keep adding fuel so that you can get maximum from that.

    2. Lakhyajyoti says:

      Although it is difficult to take a break for a blogger,we should take it once in a week.Thanks for your nice post.

  4. Roman says:

    Any post with the word failure in it I instantly read. Failure is everywhere and constant struggle for all people.

    I enjoy reading quotes from successful people who most of their lives where constantly failing, but somehow kept going till the one or two major successes outshined all previous failures.

    1. d3so says:

      I love the quote on failure. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
      Genius.

      1. @Roman
        well said..we learn from failures either from ourselves or that of others…
        “There is much to be said for failure. It is more interesting than success.” ~Max Beerbohm

        @d3so
        :)

  5. What an excellent and motivational post John!

    All excellent points you made there.

    We seem to get de-motivated very easily. And give up way too early.

    I think it is all about the correct MINDSET. If you come into this game with the aim of earning money overnight, you will be disappointed.

    On the other hand, if you know that a web business is like any other business, and it takes time and work, then you will be succeeding in this game.

    Kindest,
    Nabeel

    1. The only point John made here is allowing this guestpost on his blog.

      It is amazing how many people give no credit to the actual writers. John owns his blog and he writes great posts but not all posts on this blog are written by him.

      If and when you guest post on this blog I’m sure that you’d like to be given credit for it wouldn’t you?

      1. @Nabeel
        :) i am glad that you have enjoyed reading. sometimes, as human, we need a little push of encouragement to lift our spirit high and continue striving. i hope in this post itself, you will eventually find that ‘push’ :)

        @Email List Building
        :) well it would be nice eventually to have given a bit of a credit. but hey i am glad that you noticed lol.
        cheers

        1. Oh I am really sorry about that Febap Liew. I really just typed John in accident. I meant to type Febap Liew.

          I will pay more attention next time. Sorry again.

          Kindest,
          Nabeel

  6. Mr Hoc says:

    That’s a good quote. when love and money are together in harmony…life is good.

    1. I still don’t understand this whole love of money thing. Sure we need it to live, but do what you’re passionate about and that will come. It’s not harmony, it’s karma.

      1. @Mr Hoc
        Life is good, well said.. in this world today one may eventually not be able to sustain without money and without love,money would be evil~~ pure chemistry when both of them unites !

        @SEO: TopCommenter.com
        the way to attain ‘money’ comes in many form. illegal or legally … i suppose with love, we tend not to fall onto the ‘bad’ side of doing it.. besides, with love, we are more prone to spend the money made much more meaningfully..by that i mean to charity, donation, ..well for the better good of mankind ;P

  7. Jeff Bode says:

    To go along with this I believe motivation is important as well, we have to be motivated to move toward pleasure rather than away from fear (like most of us do).

    1. @Jeff Bode
      you are right.positive motivation is required by all of us at some point or another when we strive to succeed and motivation comes in many form. =)

  8. browie says:

    Great pep talk. I actually need this.

    1. d3so says:

      I agree, I’m currently running CPM campaigns and have had no success at all. This is a breath of fresh air for me :)

      1. @browie
        i am glad that this helps in every beneficial way possible for you

        @d3so
        thrive on and believe in yourself.. don’t give up ;)

        1. d3so says:

          I won’t. I actually broke even today.
          :)

          1. @d3so
            good on ya~
            keep up the good work,aye!

  9. Baker says:

    Good timing on this post John! Keep up the positive energy.

    1. I agree, it’s lovely to see John posting articles full of positive energy :D

      1. @Baker
        *chuckle* hey baker, i am glad that you have enjoyed reading

        @Web Yazilim Tasarim
        ;)

  10. I love this Patton quote: “I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.”

    inevitable, people will fail when starting…it’s how they come back that will dictate how well they do…

    1. @Online College Courses
      “It is a mistake to suppose that people succeed through success; they often succeed through failures.”
      who hasn’t fail.. even the most powerful of man fail before he attain success.. i guess that what makes living a charm.. =) we get to have the option of either backing out or standing back up ! ^^

  11. Jason says:

    I like how Anthony Robbins put it when he stated, “There is no such thing as failure, only results”.

    If what you are doing is not working then change your approach. Failure is a learning process! It is feedback into the methods and strategies that you are using and lets you know what is working and what is not working.

    By using failure as a learning process; consequently, you can stop doing the things that are not getting you the results you want and starting doing more of the things that are working.

    Also, as you stated, “Believe in yourself”! You must have a strong belief system in place and hold onto the conviction that you can succeed at whatever endeavor you embark upon. You need to envision yourself as already having achieved the object of your desire. Act as if you already have it!

    Great Post!

    Great Post!

    1. @jason
      thank you jason for your wonderful insight :)
      how we perceive failing is entirely up to ourselves.. the one who maintains a positive mindset would inevitably turn failure into results and eventually success.
      therefore, is there such thing as ‘failure’ then?

      “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work’. ~Thomas Edison

  12. Marcus says:

    Excellent points, thanks. I like a quote by Ben Sweetland:”Success is a journey, not a destination”.

    1. @macus
      thank you for the quote,macus.
      yes there is much to elaborate about the ‘real’ definition of journey and destination.

      “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” ~Henry Ford

      :)

  13. Harshad says:

    I would really not follow a few things mentioned in this post. I disagree with some points.

  14. Everyone gets through hard times. The important thing is to stay strong, and know that there are better days ahead of you :)

    1. @Web Yazilim Tasarim
      tomorrow will be another day. we decide how we live not by anyone else. if we choose to face fail and strive on strong, so it will be.
      if we choose to fall and let it blind our way, it will eventually be. the mind is a powerful thing and only ourselves i believe have the ‘prowess’ to decide how it works and think ;)

  15. justin says:

    I really like this post it gives me the confidence to stay strong In Times of Failure.

    1. @justin
      i am glad that you have enjoyed reading and happy to know that it proofs to be beneficial for you in times of ‘failure’ :)

  16. Hello my fellow bloggers,
    i am glad that you all have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing.
    Yes this is a guest post by me by the way which many may have overlooked that fact =\

    but it doesn’t matter, my greatest wish is to see that everyone would learn something out of this. =)
    cheers have a nice

  17. Ryan Yu says:

    Thanks for your great article!

    I totally agree with you.

    One African proverb would explain it well :)

    “Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.”

    1. @Ryan Yu
      thank you for commenting :)
      that is really a wonderful quote.

      i love metaphors .. lol
      cheers

  18. Febap, great, very detailed post. My favorite is this: ‘If you fall, that is not a problem, if you fall and stay laying on the ground, that is a problem.’ SY

    1. @Irish Garden Home
      hey thank you for your comments.
      glad that you enjoyed reading as much as i have enjoyed writing it . =)
      cheers

  19. Great post, i’ve gone through some tough times, but at first you don’t succeed, try again…
    Its always a push to get the ball rolling at first.

    Stuart

    1. @Stuart
      thank you for your comments. i believe many would eventually go through tough times as you did before attaining success.
      try again, persistence is the key;)
      cheers

  20. It’s a very usefull post I was very confident and doing things one by one to bring my blog to the next level,eventhough my parents are not encouraging my confidence levels stands very strong don’t lose yourself-Be Confident.

    1. @BlogTech Online
      at times, when met with discouraging situation, the only way to push forth is to continue believing in whatever action you undertake.
      it is great to hear that you are confident in what you do and confidence is very crucial at this point.
      keep up the good work,aye.
      cheers

  21. Its nice to see some women online!!! I totally agree with your first points about what discourages bloggers. And even worse, those factors build on each other. So fear and procrastination build up on top of each other and you suddenly have no desire to continue your work.

    1. @Insurance Izzy
      :) i am most certain that humans are usually governed with fear and that fear is what preventing us to take that extra ‘mile’…
      successful people do not achieve from what’s known and readily laid but from uncertainty where they believe holds great opportunity.
      cheers

  22. Attitude is everything. Failure is only negative if you let it be. In reality it’s a tool, a way for you to learn about what works and what doesn’t.

    I think it was Churchill who said:

    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

    Wield failure as a tool and you will succeed!

    1. @Blog Angel a.k.a. Joella
      you are absolutely right about it, joella
      life is how we perceive it to be. if you accept failure as a ‘positive motivator’, i am pretty sure you’ll succeed far greater than anyone else.
      besides, i have read stories about many successful individuals. They have went through tough times to get to a position of where there are…;)

  23. daniela says:

    thanx for the inspiration and modivation to keep going.

    1. @ daniela
      you are welcome. I hope you have enjoyed reading .
      keep going,aye ;)

  24. steve says:

    This article has got to be one of the best articles that i have read on this blog. keep on coming!

    1. @steve
      :) thank you steve for your warn compliment.
      have a nice day,aye.

    2. Lakhyajyoti says:

      Agree.One of the best article ever I read in Johnchow dot com.

      1. :) thank you for such warm compliments

  25. Good tips! Making it in the online world is like a roller coaster ride…..everyone encounters the lows and has to persevere to get back to those highs.

    1. @mantle clocks
      indeed, in fact, life in itself is a roller coaster ride. If you can hurdle through the ups and downs, i bet its really nothing as compared to just making money online . lol
      cheers

  26. Lakhyajyoti says:

    All points you have included here are excellent.Learn lot from your article.

  27. Hey Febap,

    Thanks for sharing and for guest posting here at johnchow.com. You are indeed a great blogger, I also follow you in your blog and you’re truly providing valuable content. This was an inspirational post.

    Hope to see more of you here.

    Kind regards,

    Gary

    1. @ Gary,
      thank you for commenting.
      ;) thank you too for your compliments. really appreciate it.
      I will be doing the best I can to provide more for everyone.
      =) cheers have a nice day

  28. Long post but enjoyed.

    This kind of post which I always wanted to read again and again. At least once in a week.

    1. @ZK
      i am glad that you enjoyed it,man. =) lol
      at least i can assure you that my long post will be be packed with ‘crap’ hehehe
      cheers buddy.
      have a great day k.

  29. YinYang says:

    Rather than viewing failure as something to which I succumb, I prefer to see it as something from which I can extract useful information.

    1. @YinYang
      as human, we have a choice of either falling from the fall or climbing back up after a fall. You have decided well on seeking the best out of the worst.
      cheers man =)

  30. Bidet says:

    Great post, one should look at failure as a way of learning and never give up from it, one should always move on and become a better person from it. If one does not give up eventually he will succeed and not fail. Almost every successful blogger has gone through some failures in their life and what made them different is that they never gave up.

  31. ibnujusup says:

    self criticism is my main sometime, i try to do all the thing in one instances… really piss me off when i failed…

  32. Amazing post man. Highlights all the things a blogger needs to keep in mind !

  33. Well really like the quotation in between added.

  34. self criticism is my main sometime, i try to do all the thing in one instances… really piss me off when i failed…

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